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Posts Tagged ‘giving birth’

     One of the things I learned many, many years ago is the value of praise and encouragement.  It was while I was giving birth to my daughter, my first birth.  It did not go either as I had planned or as I might have hoped.

Of course I had expected that it would be painful and to prepare myself for the pain I had reasoned with myself that at least half of pain is fear and I wouldn’t be fearful when I was giving birth because I would know why I was in pain.

Ho-di-ho.  That was a good one.  I was in huge pain and therefore in unreasoning fear and I was making a noise like a camel.  Really, I could hear myself, like a camel.  And no matter what I did, how much noise I made, how snivelling, despairing or pathetic I became, my midwife just said “You’re doing really well Kim, keep going, you’re doing brilliantly.”.

Salt of the earth midwives.  No question.

And when I reflected on it afterwards I knew that if she had told me off (which I probably deserved), or told me to pull myself together (which she must have been tempted to), or slapped me (which I surely would have done in her shoes), I would simply have given up.  There and then.  Just stopped.

The more she praised me, the more I felt I could.  And I did.  Thank goodness.

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